Well it’s been just over one year since I had my last babe. He is now a one-year-old who walks, babbles, and crawls out of his highchair and any confined space! Looking back to three years ago and just one year ago when I had my own babies it’s fun to think about what I really needed after giving birth to the perfect and wonderful babies. You know when they stayed in the place you left them at and didn’t roam around the house, that memorable and fast-pacing baby stage of life. I have a bit of experience in the postpartum life and what happens after the hospital releases you with a newborn. Now you can read any book, you can be as prepared as you think you can be, but truth be told nothing prepares you for the newborn stage or parenthood.
Now gift registries are great but let’s remember that it’s not just the baby that needs “stuff,” mom does too. The things a mom needs you can’t always register for but it’s just as important as that baby swing, the four kinds of pacifiers you will try, or the baby book that you will try to fill out before the baby is one.
If you are looking for a little new mom to-be advice or maybe you are looking for something to give your new mom friend, I recommend one of the following:
1. A subscription to Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Video or any other movie or TV subscription service. I am not joking here. Whether you are recovering from delivery, learning to nurse, or simply enjoying that baby, you will spend a lot of quiet time in a house with a newborn and you will (and should) binge watch TV. It is necessary and it is important to allow this to happen because you will be lonely, lacking sleep, your body will hurt all over from labor and you need to relax, and well the binge watching is important because your brain needs the stimulation. You will watch the movies or TV series you’ve been planning to and haven’t made time for while nursing or feeding that sweet babe and it’s time well spent.
2. Food and visits. These go hand and hand. Any and all kinds of food. It’s 100% needed and necessary for survival at this stage of the game of parenthood. One year later and I still find that I forget to eat because I am busy caring for the “babies” in my life. While you are trying to cope with caring to the needs of a newborn, the last thing you need to do it cook! Snacks, meals, desserts, anything is good. Take out is even a great option. Make sure that when you take the food you schedule time to talk and visit too. That friend has possibly gone days without talking to another human being so be a friend and visit her. With our first we had lots of visitors, with baby number two visitors did not show up as frequent and the food did not either. I recovered quickly and began doing too much too fast. I felt lonelier as a result of the few visitors and had my hands full with a two-year-old and newborn and in the midst of one of the busiest times of year for our farm HARVEST.
3. An Instant Pot. Nope, not kidding and yes, I know I contradict myself. I just said you don’t have time to cook. But there will be days like day 3 after arriving home from the hospital and another casserole sounds unappetizing. Or like me with the first pregnancy, you were gestational diabetic and now you just want all the things you weren’t allowed to have like pasta, pizza and ice cream (that’s the reason I had ice cream immediately after delivery, thank you Lyndsay and Kristen)! An Instant Pot is amazing for new moms (or busy cooks in general), because you throw the ingredients in when you realize you haven’t eaten in 8 hours and instantly your food is ready in 30 minutes give or take. It’s really like a magic pot. It was a lifesaver for us with a baby and now with two toddlers meals are “sometimes” less stressful. Order one here for a friend or for yourself.
4. A bottle of wine or 6-pack of beer. So you just went 9 months, maybe longer without drinking. Once you are done breastfeeding, go ahead and throw yourself a party with alcohol, you need it. Heck, you even deserve it! Take that bottle of wine with the food to your friend, her stock is probably getting low!
5. Leggings/Yoga pants. Let’s be real for a moment, there will be times that you wonder, when did I shower last? Maybe even, when did I last change my clothes or even my underwear? You will not be wearing real clothes for the first few weeks that you are home bound so don’t expect anything less. Buy nice leggings and live it up, it’s ok the world will not end because you are wearing leggings or yoga pants. Sometimes, you will also find that you aren’t wearing pants at all and then guests pull in. Only happened once, ok twice to me, but it’s a great story I think! So pants are recommended, and especially comfortable pants. Give your friend a gift card for the comfy clothes and nursing apparel they will need post birth.
6. The gift of time and she will be so grateful. Ask your friend if she needs a few hours to sleep, shower, to go to the store, or just some time for herself. I remember that feeling of I don’t need anything, but man I would love to simply shower or sleep. Since that’s such a vivid memory from postpartum I have found myself offering my services after friends have babies. Sometimes I push a little harder and say are you sure you won’t take this opportunity for sleep?! I think you should because man I wish I had been asked that. Actually I’ll still take that. I’ll have a sign up below for those that want to come help me catch up on the 4 years of sleep I have lost.
7. Finally the most important… give that new mom an excuse to get out of the house! You don’t need to take off the leggings, but you need fresh air and company. Plan a margarita night, ask her to the zoo, or schedule a much needed date night. You and/or your friend have just gone through the largest change you/they will as they became a mother. They may lose themselves, they may lose their friends and they may lose touch with their spouse. Help them out. Be a friend and help them get out of the house, have a wild night and let them see that they are still there. It’s just a little harder to find some days. I am still waiting on my excuse and it’s been over a year.
Let’s not forget the new Dad’s too be sure to take a favorite food and beer for them too! After all they too are recovering from a life shattering change.
So embrace motherhood, but know it’s not easy and that there is no book that can fully prepare you! So these are my 7 things to help any new mom out!
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